Saturday, 19 January 2013

Good intentions

I was full of them.

Back in October, I sat in a similar position, both literally and figuratively, on this same sofa, typing away at this same keyboard, assuring myself  and my readers ~ or so I believed ~ that I would have and do it all: I would keep on top of everything at work, tutor outside of school, finish planning and preparing for our wedding, instigate regular contact with my family and friends, spare time for myself and my then fiancé and all while maintaining my blog and my sanity. I am very pleased to report that my mental health, whilst some may argue otherwise, is in pretty good shape; my poor blog on the other hand, I believe requires some resuscitation.

These three months past, the little magpie has lain forlorn, abandoned in its very infancy. I'm so thoroughly disappointed in myself, and yet I'm sure I suspected when I wrote last, that my intentions, however keen and sincere at the time, were bordering on the delusional.

I fear I do this rather a lot ~ set myself up for disappointment by setting the bar a little high. I think it's a common affliction these days: we strive to be the very best that we can be, doing everything, seeing everything, accomplishing everything, and all by 9am without so much as breathing a sigh, let alone breaking a sweat.

This time of year is always one of reflection and introspection for me. Every other year, I have felt refreshed and inspired by the new year, always determined to give or take something up, make positive changes, be a better human being. This year, not so. This year, January feels like hard work. I finally understand why everyone is depressed and broke, and empathise. So this year, my good intentions are going to be less pie in the sky. I shall deliberate for the rest of this month as to what they might be and start in February (I'm actually ignoring January this year, it's just too much of an anti-climax after a December wedding), but this time, you can believe me as I now believe myself, that aside from any other resolutions to be made, and/or broken, there will, I promise, be regular things for you to read here, should you feel like dropping by...

Happy 2013, everyone!

pp x


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